Day 30: Vacation
As in I need one! Usually around this time of year...the monotony gets to me. Not sure if it's from the cabin fever brought on by being inside all day every day for five days in a row. Or if it's just that I get tired of doing the same things over, over and well..over again.
This part of the year is where there are no paid holidays for a five month period. When I was working I would find myself restless and in a sort of mental fog. So then I would sneak in a "mental health day" every now and then. Since I haven't had a "paid" job in over three years, I still find myself in this funk. Mental Health days are harder to come by these days. I am lucky if I get a Mental Health hour. Which now days I take what I can get.
I have been in a "Thoughtful Spot" the last couple of days. Trying to figure out the root cause of the semi funk. All I have seemed to come up with is that there is only so much dish/laundry/underwear washing one person can take. I love having the opportunity to take care of my family. I know the hubs works hard so that I can stay home and take care of Clover. I know that I am not unhappy. Just stuck in this fog. As nerdy as this reference is going to sound, I feel like Peter from Office Space. Just doing enough to keep under the radar. But not really enjoying vacuuming the floor for the third time this week.
I think part of it is also attributed to down time. I was doing so much planning and reflecting for Clover's birthday. I was able to focus on that. Now that we have successfully pulled off the party, I find myself with some down time. Down time is dangerous. I dread it. There is a reason they call it the "Calm before the storm" and I find myself never enjoying the down time because I am too busy mentally preparing for the weather ahead. I will admit that I am slightly paranoid due to a relatively short period of time in our past where every moment we had to relax was followed by some nasty storm clouds.
I think I am just having a moment where I am being paranoid, which maybe where some of the funk is coming from. I know what I need but unfortunately it is going to be awhile until I find myself on a blanket on the beach.
A Beach Blanket
Possible some overcastyness (since the sun and I don't get along)
Sand toys for Clover
Something from Starbucks
A Camp Chair for Hubs
The last one is optional but would do wonders for my mood.