Sailor of the SS Failboat

Salute me for I am your captain on this voyage of the SS Failboat!

Oh the crap I find on the internet and the uses I find for it.  So where do I start?  So I was tasked in making a prop for Clover's dance class.  I am basically enlarging beloved children's classic books so the kids can dance with them.  Super cute right?  So here is where my self confidence takes a nose dive.  While I am crafty, I am no way artistic.  If I see it I can make my own version but I don't really create art straight out of my head.  So I am very hesitant to label myself as Artsy.  The versions of the books I had in my head were more artsy and I kinda freaked out because I really want them to turn out well.  These are some cute kids and these books need to them justice.  And I really want them to look nice (the books and the kids).

So my brain starting turning.  Well how can I make these easier?  And in trying to make them easier I think I just made things more difficult for myself.  Go figure right?

I was poking around on the internet, you know, like I doooo, and I found a cell phone projector.  That could work, I thought.  Nooo that could really work and project the image on the board and I could just trace it!  Here is where I start getting really excited.  Like almost bouncing in my seat excited because I totally thought I had this whole thing figured out.

So I started.  I even took pictures.

 

Supplies.

 

Me duct taping the entire inside of a shoe box.

 

Tada!  Envious of my duct taping skills?

 
 

Magnifying glass.

 I followed the instructions and built my master piece.  I ran inside and turned off all the lights.  Threw my cell phone in there, lined it up with a board and...

Nothing!  Okay not exactly nothing, there was a small orange circle on the board.  But nothing like they website showed! 

I even called my husband in to double check what I did wrong.  He so lovingly told me that he knew it wasn't going to work but he didn't want to take the wind out of my sails.  He did not want to sail with me on SS Failboat.  He could have at least warned me and I wouldn't have spent an hour duct taping a stupid shoe box!  He's a smart dude, I would have believed him and just worked something out.

I did work something out in my frustration of the not working dumb cell phone shoe box projector.  I grumpily stomped myself all over the house.  Then I tried something and it worked out better than the stupid projector idea would have anyways and then I was mad because I wasted all that time on the idea of making my life easier when in fact it didn't.

I do that to myself a lot.  
   

The Kissing Hand is Gross!

This is going to be one of those days where I kick out a few blog posts and word vomit all over the place because I have a lot of stuff crammed up in my brain.  Or maybe it's the coffee I had this morning since I didn't have any yesterday.  Who knows.  Who cares.  Anyways here we go.

So The Kissing Hand...what is it?  It is a cute little book. It's about Chester, who is a small raccoon about to start school.  Just like my little Clover, Chester is worried and apprehensive about being away from his Mom and being somewhere new.  I would have ended that sentence with "most of the day" but raccoons are nocturnal and sleep during the day so he goes to school at night.

To get Clover used to the idea of starting school we did all the "starting school" stuff.  We toured her school and met her teacher.  We walked around the campus.  We talked about making new friends and we read lots of books.  Lots and lots of books.

She really picked up the concept of this book and stuck with it.  That I can kiss her hand and that kiss will stick with her during the day.  She really loves that idea and we use the kissing hand every day.

Here is the thing...it's sooooooo groooosssss.  Maybe it's just her approach but before I leave, or tell her goodnight she shoves her hand in my face and yells "Kissing hand!" which would be cute and sweet except I know where that hand has been!  Kids are dirty and gross and I am convinced the only reason why "automated" washing anything was invented.   It would probably deter from the moment if I paused and asked her to wash that hand before she face palmed me with it.

Drawing Lines

So I've been learning new things.  Whoo hoo.  Go me right?!?

Girly things!  I know you are proud aren't you?

So I have figured out that I suck at eye liner.  You want me to draw a line on my eyeball?  I can't even draw a straight line on paper.  Which is a flat surface.  So you want me to draw a line on a curved surface that sometimes involuntarily twitches?  That totally sounds like I will be successful right off the bat.  Or maybe not.  Everyone says it takes practice and I tried but my line always ends up wonky.  So I tried liquid.  Which looks nice on the off days where I can actually draw a line on one eye lid but is hard to recreate on the opposite lid.  Then I end up trying to work an eye pencil which I always end up smudging because that's the only way it looks like an even line. 

Enter online research. 

Youtube is helpful.  There are so many tutorials out there.  I think the key is finding someone you like.  There are tons of people on Youtube all with different personalities.  Once you find someone you like you will end up losing many many hours while watching people put colorful stuff on their face. 

Hours and hours of mine have been lost watching Wayne Goss on YouTube.  Watch the video.  You will not be sorry.  I will never draw on my eye again.  Sooooo much easier using the push liner brush.  It's my new favorite brush.  This technique also cuts down on my make up time because I'm not spending twenty minutes trying to draw a straight line...on a curves surface...without poking myself in the eye.

Face Spackle

As I mentioned before, I am making an effort to girly it up a bit.  Part of that comes from having a girly girl, who at the ripe o age of 6 is more girly than her mom who has been on the planet for a bit longer.  I've always leaned more towards the tomboy side of things.  I wont lie, I enjoyed my flannel shirt phase a little more than anyone else.  Now I am comfortably in the jeans and tshirt phase of my life.  To think about it, I have never really left that phase.

I have started dipping my toes into this very large girly world.  And I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what I am doing. 

At all!

So I had to start somewhere right?  Isn't that what the internet is for?  It's a little intimidating with all the knowledge out there.  So really I just had to pick a spot and work from there.  I tried forums.  Tried being the key word.  I haven't found a forum that I feel comfortable posting on yet.  A lot of them seem...uhm...what's the word?  Snotty?  Don't get me wrong.  There were a few helpful people on some of the forums I was browsing.  A few meaning about two.  Forums are tricky to navigate because everyone posting has a different skin type, or color, or problem.  So one product that might work for them, might not work for me. 

I think the biggest help was just going into a store in the morning and swatching stuff.  I went in after I dropped Clover off at school and spent about an hour rubbing BB creams on the back of my hands.  I felt a little silly at first but it did help me figure out what products I liked and which ones were a no-go.  Seriously one of them I tried on was so shiny I was convinced you could see it from space.  I don't need that much glitter to rock a day time look.  I didn't worry too much about brand names.  I know some people are very brand specific but I have found during this journey to not pay attention to the label or marketing.  I just wanted to find a product that was going to work for me.

I wanted something light and not greasy feeling.  I hate putting stuff on my skin that doesn't rub in.  If I feel like there is a layer on my skin I get the hibeejeebee feeling.  I have always been like that which why I hate Vicks (I put it on my shirt) or sunscreen (I wear a powder).  My face is also pretty sensitive so I turn red easily.  Which is why I shy away from traditional foundations and wear mineral powders.  I tried Physician's Formula BB cream which was a little too thick for me.  I liked the color and the coverage but I didn't like how it felt on my skin.  Something else I am figuring out is that I will like some of the products I try and some of them I wont.  So since this was too thick for me I passed it on to a friend of mine. 

After an hour of rubbing stuff on little spots on my hand I found one that I really liked.  It's been about two weeks and I still love it.  It's very light and doesn't have a harsh smell to it at all.  I also got it 20% off because I was shopping the day the store opened.  So I made sure to take advantage of the discount.  I ended up going with the Urban Decay Naked BB Cream in Naked light.

So my darling husband asked me the other night..."Is Ulta like Home Depot for chick stuff?"  Yes, yes it is.  It's where I buy the spackle for my face!        

The Never Ending Bedroom Saga

Have you ever had a project that for some reason or another became something bigger than you ever expected?  Welcome to our bedroom.  Wait!  Not like that.  That just sounded wrong.

So anyways.  Back in December we broke our bed.  The how is not important (it's exactly how you think).  It was an Ikea Malm that we bought probably in 2004.  I don't remember the exact trip it was because we have made several day trips to Ikea to furnish the house.  The metal support beam snapped in half.  In the middle of the night we cleaned everything from out of underneath the bed and put the mattress on the floor.  And there it sat for awhile until we figured out what we wanted to do.  Then things just kept getting added on and on and on.

It took us awhile to find a bed that we wanted.  We wanted something that was going to last.  Something a little taller than the Malm.  We found the Daniel Amish line.  You can customize the stain, wood and hardware.  We originally passed it over because we thought it was going to be more pricy than other sets in the store but they were all around the same price.  So we picked out the exact one we wanted.  But seeing as it's customized we would have to wait eight to ten weeks.  So ten more weeks of sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

During that time we decided to paint.  Which in itself is a large project.  We are very lucky that we had help.  The guys went to patch a spot in the ceiling.  That part took three days.  The first patch they tried fell out completely.  

 

Mold, falling patches and dry wall, oh my!

The guys got it figured out and it looks great.  We also installed a new ceiling fan while they were up there.  And since the power was out we installed new electrical outlets since the other ones had paint on them.

 

Love them!

Check those bad boys out!  No not the guy installing them (although the front of him is cute too)...the outlet with the USB charger built in!  I was so excited when I found these in Home Depot I squealed!  It's one of those things I've seen online or in magazines but I never thought I would find here.  So when I found them I was very giddy.  I know, I nerded out a bit with these.  I love them!  I don't have to search for a power brick.  I just plug in my cable and I'm good.  That color is called Mint Shake.  It's bright and it makes me happy just looking at it.

So installing, painting, fixing, everything looks brand new except the floor.  The old carpet that has been there for I don't know how long, through two sets of owners with pets...yeah that had to go!

 

New hotness, with my forehead in the foreground.  

So after all that waiting, and a few days of sleeping on the mattress in the living room, we finally moved everything for furniture day!  Yay!  So they came and the first problem that they ran into was that the bed wouldn't fit through the hallway!  Insert overdramatic "Noooooooooooooo!" here.  So they took it through the sliding glass doors.  Which is probably the only thing that they have ever been used for.  Then when they brought the dresser in they walked right into my light fixture in the entry way...and broke it.

Seriously!

After all of that they put the mattress on the bed and it doesn't fit.  Here is where I waited to buy a new mattress because when we bought the bed I asked the guy

"I noticed that you are writing Cal King on everything.  We have a regular King size bed.  (which apparently is called an Eastern King)."

Furniture Guy:  "Oh you have an Eastern King?  It'll fit"

Me:  "What if we want to buy a new one?  What size do we buy?  What if we buy a Cal King?"

Furniture guy:  "Oh that will fit too"

And then I sat there with my forehead scrunched trying to process how both sizes could fit on the bed.  That is why I waited to purchase the mattress.  So then I had to wait another two weeks for the mattress to come in.  They called the night before and gave me a 1-4pm time frame.  So after I dropped Clover off at school I went to Home Depot and picked up some vertical blinds for the sliding glass door since for the last three months it has had a sheet tacked up over the door.  So as I was in the check out at 10 am they called and said they were twenty minutes away.  I'm not sure how 10 is near 1 or 4.  So I raced home just in time.  These guys delivered the mattress and managed not to break anything.

The last thing that was waiting for me was the blinds.  The LAST thing.  Yeah, stupid blind took me three hours to install!

Start to finish, the entire bedroom took four months.  Some things we anticipated, some took us by surprise.  We managed to pull together as a team and get it all sorted out and finished.  It's exactly how we want it to be and will probably stay that way forever, because after all of that work I'm not messing with it anytime soon.   

And my husband wonders why I need recovery time after home projects.