Monday, February 28, 2011

People in General

What part of life confuses you the most?
In one word..People.  People in general confuse me the most.  I don't understand them and even if I think I understand some, they switch it up and I am standing there with a big question mark hovering above my head.
At one point in my life I considered going into psychology.  If to do nothing else but help me understand the people I knew.  But after a little more consideration I decided that it wasn't worth four to six more years of school.  Especially when a lot of "theories" were followed by phrases like "varies depending on situation/person".  
I know life is pretty hard at times.  Even if you are the stereotypical good girl and keep it on the straight and narrow, life can still be pretty tough.  So it confuses me to why some people would purposely do things to complicate life.  I don't understand how people can get so wrapped up in themselves to where they don't see the pain that they cause by their actions or words.  Do they not care?  Do they not see it?  Do you justify it to yourself?  I guess you never really know until you are in that person's shoes.  So here I sit.  Confused as ever.     
Bonus: What part of life confuses you the least? 
Love.  People do a lot of crazy things in the name of love.  Or at least they say it's in the name of love.  Love is one of those things that just makes sense to me.  Maybe because I've been in love with the same guy since I was 15.  Not to say that it's been a giant slap of chocolate cake.  Like any couple we have had our ups and downs.  Through all of it, I never question who I will be warming my cold feet on in the middle of the night cuz I know he will be laying right next to me in his white hanes ankle socks.

Love just makes sense to me because it's something that I feel and do my best to express.  I love my family, my husband, our adorable red headed almost three year old.  I have an immense love for my friends, the ocean, coffee, flip flops, my macs, pop music and the place where the mouse lives.

The one part of love that confuses me is the fact that people feel the need to argue about it.  So again, here I sit.  Confused as ever.  

Thursday, February 24, 2011


I told you I was getting back into the swing of things after good o heart day.  And I did.

My work out timers for the week.  I would have had timers for last week cept being the dork that I am I hit the play button for all timers and jacked em up last week.

I downloaded some new music for the elliptical.  Good music makes all the difference.    

My second thought bubble...

Have you ever had songs that you really didn't like and then you listened to them again and for some reason now you like them?

I asked hubs that question when I came in...

Hubs:  Yeah I have a few Rihanna songs that are like that for me.

How did he know I was talking about Rihanna?  (We've been married too long, lol)


What's my name?  oh nana  What's my name?  on nana

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Utter Frustration

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.
Pope John XXIII

I have people around me that are currently going through sucky stuff.  All different people from different parts of my life.  All different situations.  These are situations of which I have no control.  I am not involved, but...I am a problem solver and a worrier.  I don't like to see people go through such bad spots in life.   

I want to help.

I want to fix things.

I can't.

There is nothing that I can do.

And that feeling has left me...

utterly frustrated.

To be honest I am about five seconds away from baking up about eight dozen Chocolatey Cuppycakes and start makin deliveries.  I know in my head that a cupcake wont solve anything...but maybe it might make me feel better.   

Babble Much

Here's a meta topic, which should illustrate that if you don't know what to blog about, you can always write about how you write.
How do you decide when a post is ready to publish?

It's usually about 45 minutes after I start and I can no longer dedicate the time I want to the post.  If you haven't noticed by now I blog by the seat of my pants.  That is probably why I sometimes seem a bit scattered as I try to connect all these dots in my head. 

I kind of touched on this in one of my previous blogs.  I felt that I had to explain all my errors after forgetting to hit the spell check button more than once. 

When I sit down to blog I either have an idea already forming in my head or I check my email for my prompts.  A lot of the time I am sitting on the couch while Clover wakes up.  Okay so you called me on that one.  The child wakes up with 10x more energy than me so I am usually on the couch while a show is on so I can wake up.  Usually takes one show while my meter creeps up towards "fully" awake.  Depends on how much coffee I manage to consume. 

I sit down and plop my wonky Acer netbook on my lap and tap it a couple of times until the screen stops jiggling.  I am really using this thing until it completely dies.  It's only a year and a month old but managed to go downhill quick.  Maybe the next one will be an apple (hint hint hubby).  At least they support their gear.  Wow went way off subject there...

I sit down with my netbook and a cup of coffee.  Today it is a Fake-achino.  Which is of my own creation.  I'm creative like that.  I have been known to go to great lengths when I run out of dairy product for my coffee.  Which I usually don't realize until my cup is already filled and ready for the creamer.  We had a tad bit of milk today but I saved it for the hubs (see I love him).  So this morning I grabbed the whip cream can out of the fridge and gave my Newman's Own Special Blend a lil squirt, therefore creating a Fake-achino.  You know you want one!

So then I babble out everything through the keyboard, stop and think some more.  Try not to get distracted by the brightly colored show my daughter is watching with the high pitched voices.  Sit and stare at the screen for a bit, attempt to proof read.  Hit publish.  Realize that I forgot to spell check.  Go into the edit page, spell check, and re publish.  Read on the blog (for some reason reading on the green background helps me notice grammar errors better).  And if all looks good I leave it and then give it some Link Love.   

There is my writing process.  I would have said "in a nutshell" but that would imply that I gave you the shortened version.  And as you have noticed this is anything but short!  So there is another peek into my very scattered brain. 

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Easy Peasy

When you're feeling down, what music cheers you up?
Bonus: why do you think this music has that effect? What music do you prefer when you're very happy?

I've been a little relaxed with the Postaweek posting.  I've been posting weekly but I haven't been following the prompts.  I am blaming lack of sleep since Clover is now once again waking at night and crawling in our bed by two in the morning.  Good thing I'm not being graded.

K back to the music...

Anything fast is good for me.  But surprisingly I am not a trance/house fan.  Hubs is.  I have figured out that I am not.  There is only so much boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boomboomboom I can take.  As much as I love the beat I am a lyrics girl.

I never seem to be into music while it's hot.  I always seem to catch the boat like a year later.  A lot of the music on my playlist right now is years old.  I always come back to my favorites.  As much as I am an instant gratification Itunes chick, I also love to purchase a physical CD and listen to it front to back.  My problem comes when I want a CD at 11:05pm or when I fall in love with international artists who's record company isn't releasing or is doing a limited release in the US.   

I bounce around a lot genre wise.  I listen to Country, Rock, Alternative and Oldies but I always come back to good old fashion Pop.  I have artists that I <3.  When I say that I love them...I mean I love their music.  I am not one of those obsessive stalker fans that knows every detail of their lives.  I have hit a wiki page or two out of curiosity.  I may not know about their personal lives but I don't think that makes me less of a fan.  I know the music and the all the lyrics.

Songs I have recently come back to include

Mandy Moore- Have a Little Faith In Me.  I went through a tough spot and this song really helped keep me grounded.  I think it's a positively powerful song.

Jc Chasez - Right Here (by Your Side).  Another artist that I love.  I would be in Heaven if JC and Darren did a duet or worked on a project together.  Can you guys work on that for me?  My birthday is coming up.  Not that the world revolves around me or anything.  Loling at myself right now.  JC had an album that was scheduled for release and then it was never released.  I was disappointed to say the least.

Van Halen - Can't Stop Loving You.  Hubs and I share a love for Van Halen.  However, he likes more songs by David Lee Roth (ick) and I am Sammy's girl through and through.  Yes, the Sammy/David argument is alive and well in our household. *Editorial Note:  Hubs has informed me that although we have had many discusions on this topic that he "Does not like more Dave songs than Sammy songs and that I am full of it and that Sammy ROCKS"  I agree with the latter statement however now I feel as if I have to carry a recorder around to prove that I am not going crazy ;)

Savage Garden - Crash and Burn.  I love this song too.  I found it on my Ipod when I was working on my I <3 Darren Post and have been listening to it ever since.

So there is a peek into what songs I come back to when I need some cheering up.  I would add more but life is calling me and there is a sink full of dishes that need tending too.  Guess I will fire up my Kitchen Cleaning playlist and get my butt shaking on!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Laugh Out Love

In all the post Valentine's Day love haze, I had some thoughts.  I'm lucky that I have little things that happen daily to remind me that I have love.  Every day I laugh out loud and it's all because my Clover is absolutely without a doubt the funniest person I have ever experienced. 

Saturday, February 12, 2011


We were in a store the other day.  Clover looked up and saw a poster advertisement and pronounced "That's Mommy!"  I started with a typical "I wish"  but then I stopped myself.  I stopped myself and then I realized that I stopped myself. 

I've been told multiple times that I can't take a compliment.  Here my lovely almost three year old was telling me that I was pretty enough to be on a poster and I showed my typical self-deprecation. 

That is definitely not a side of myself that I want my daughter to see.  I'm working on it.  I've been working on accepting compliments.  I joke about how I can't hear anything over the sound of how awesome I am.  But, I really don't believe it. 

It's all a work in progress.  I am giving myself til Valentine's Day before I hop back on the wagon.  And by wagon I mean back to my exercising and eating better regimen.  I was on it and between the loss of the tooth/root canal/cold that kicked my butt, I just couldn't stay on.  I fell off the wagon.  But that's okay.  After Valentine's Day I will start back up and work towards getting to where I want to be.  I'm not sure where that is.  I lost thirty pounds after having Clover.  It took some work, but then I got there and then I got comfortable.  So time to hop back and on and work on being healthier, a little happier, and a little less self deprecating. 

So when I stopped myself, I told my little Clover...

"That's very sweet of you.  Thank you baby"

I think it's amazing how something so little can change you so much.        

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Ta Da!

Presenting my first draft of my digital Personal Manifesto!

Monday, February 7, 2011

I Have Left My Confusion to a Cynical World

I have left my confusion to a cynical world
I am throwing myself at things I don't understand
Discover enlightenment holding your hand

You are..
So Beautiful
(From So Beautiful by Darren Hayes)

That was the song I was listening too when I got so caught up in the song that I drove right past my house.  I realized I drove past my house, waved, and then drove around the block listening and singing along to the rest.

I was lost in my own thoughts.  Somewhere between brainstorming and singing.  It's a good thing no one was around to hear me because my voice is normally terrible but add the lovely cold that I have and it's pretty awful!  But lucky, I have the ability to laugh at myself and sing anyways.

It's that time of year again.  Pink and Red everywhere you turn.  Lots of advertisements telling boys to buy girls shiny things.  And lots of billboards showing you where to buy flowers.  Shortly after New Years, all of the lovely red and pink hearts start coming out.  A lot of people gripe that they are out early and that Valentine's day isn't until February.  Not me.  I doddle through all of the isles, gazing at it all.  What?  Like I said, it's pretty.  

I know that some of you out there in the world believe that Valentine's Day is a "commercial holiday" generated by the greeting card company.  So to you I what?  You don't have to buy in.  You don't have to buy Valentines or anything remotely pink or red if you do not wish to do so.  "We should celebrate love every day!" and "I don't like to be told when to tell someone I love them" are two other arguments I have heard.  You are right.  We should tell the people we love that we love them.  And it would be great if we did every day.  But sometimes that pesky life thing gets in the way.  Sometimes we get so caught up in keeping up that things we should do ends up being things that I should have done.  


So here comes this nice little holiday to remind you.  It can be as simple as that.  A reminder.  You don't have to buy big huge rocks or hundreds of red roses.  I start brainstorming in the beginning of February.  I was busy brainstorming tonight and drove right past my house, so I can't put all the blame on my CD.  I like to do little things to remind the hubs that I still love him.  Drawing hearts on the bathroom mirror or making his cup of coffee before mine.  I love buying a box of Valentines and sending them out.  It reminds me of being a kid again.  And now that I have my very own Clover, I let her pick out the Valentines.  She went with Olivia just in case you were wondering.  We make our own Valentines as well.  Red paint and glitter flying everywhere!  

The hubs and I have spent every Valentine's day the same.  A home made dinner and a rental.  Usually a steak and potato dinner for the hubs and a girlie movie for me.  After Clover's eyes close and she is snug in her bed, the hubs and I get time to ourselves.  Picking the movie takes longer than anything else.  Last year we watched Outsourced.  Which was very cute.  It's a night that we know we get to spend time with each other without any distractions.  No computers or cell phones.  Just us.  

Yes, we should be spending quality time like that all of the time, but ya  So what's wrong with using the holiday as a reminder?  I guess I am a little confused to why that's a bad thing.  

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Bring Sunscreen

When teleportation is finally possible, where will you beam yourself first?
(Yes, you can assume you'd be able to teleport yourself back. It'd be a teleportation app for your phone of course, which you'd keep in your pocket).

There is nothing more peaceful than just sitting your butt on the beach and absorbing.  Listening to the waves, feeling the mist on your skin, watching the repetitive motion of the water.  Soon your breath becomes one with the tides and you feel all the tense muscles in your body relax.  Make sure you remember your beach umbrella and some sunscreen. 

And then there are vacations of another kind. 

Yes, If I could teleport anywhere...this would be one of them.  Not as calming as the previous but absolutely fun!  To walk around and feel the history of the place.  To see the care and detail that goes into everything they do so that you truly feel as if you are in another place.  A magical place.  A place where you can be a little "Goofy" and no one will judge you.  Probably because they are all sportin ears that look like a cartoon mouse. 

There is nothing that can put you in a better mood faster than seeing your daughters face light up when she realizes where she is at.  All of that childlike wonder and curiosity that is bundled up in such a small package, only to be released all at once.  And the kicker is that all the adults play along too!  Remember to bring a change of socks and your sunscreen.  

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

In Which

In which I admit that not all my days are good days.  I like to keep it pretty positive around these parts.  I see no point in wallowing in negativity.  Unfortunately, I don't always live up to my own expectations.  That's life, right?

It started yesterday when I was eating my nice crunchy granola and heard a nasty crunch.  A crunch that was not supposed to be there.  Upon further investigation, I realized that I just crunched my tooth in half.  I spit everything out and sitting right there was half of my tooth.  Luckily it didn't hurt.  But it sent me into a nice downward spiral of worry and wallowing. 

I suppose (and was told) that had I kept up on my semi-annual appointments that perhaps this may have been caught.  I tried to explain to my oh so nice dentist that "It wasn't him".  And that I have a massive fear of dentistry since I had a horrible, torturous and traumatizing dental experience when I was about 15.  In which they stabbed me in the gums with wooden toothpick thingies and continued to drill even though I asked them to stop.  So since then I have not been a fan.  My dentist is great and understands my fear but continues to harass me all in good fun when I do make it in and makes a point to tell the receptionist not to get attached to me since she will never see me again. 

So I not only saw one dentist, I saw two.  I got to experience my very first root canal today.  Which wasn't that bad.  The dentist and assistant were both very nice.  I am a little sore, other than that I feel okay.  But to do all of this I had to secure the truck and find a last minute baby sitter.  So on top of the dental visit, root canal fees and baby sitter charge I am in the hole.  So you can see why I am a little whiny. 

It always seems that whenever I am trying to be healthy it bites me in the butt.  Nice healthy granola caused me to loose a tooth and working out has been put on the back burner since I feel too crappy to do anything.  And for some reason whenever I feel like crap all I want is food that is horrible in one way or another.   Hello Resses Pb cups!   

On top of all this Clover has caught a nice little winter virus.  I am pretty sure that we have caught the same virus so we are both tired, whiny and sick.

Maybe I should have warned you in the beginning that I was a little whiny?