I bet you thought the self reflecting ended with Reverb huh? I did too. Until I looked at myself in the mirror today. All I saw was the t-shirt and jeans. I know it's my fall back outfit. It is what I feel comfortable in. My security blanket that I can wear.
And then I felt self conscious. I was having a friend over with her girls. This friend has seen me in my t-shirt and jeans probably a hundred times in the past. So she gets to come over and see me in the same all over again. All I was missing to complete the "high school me" look was my boyfriend's flannel. At least I am predictable...right?
So then I had the thought...am I still the same "high school" me?
This leads to ten minutes of serious self reflection.
And my answer....
I think that part of me still contains that shy, nervous, quiet, fearful me. She will always be there. But she has also helped me become who I am today. I'm still quiet in large groups but it's not necessarily shyness, it's more that I like to observe other people before I jump into a conversation these days. I'm almost always nervous about something. I'm a worrier and those two things go hand and hand. I have always thought of myself as older than I was. Now days, I am okay with acting like a kid and wearing fairy wings and tutus to play with my daughter. I have even been known to wear a tiara as I clean.
Yes, I am wearing jeans. When I was in high school I worried about how my hand me down jeans looked. Now days I worry about how my butt looks.
I've never been a high maintenance chick. I can't even remember the last time I got my hair cut. However, I am taking baby steps into the girly-girl world. I am proud to say that my eyebrows are two separate entities and do not resemble fuzzy caterpillars. My hair is freshly dyed Espresso and even though to me it looks dark, I am okay with the change. I even worked on my nails last night.
There were times when growing up seemed slow. And times when the world made you grow a little faster than you thought you were ready for. As I am standing in front of the mirror, I am happy with the woman staring back at me. Even if I have my self conscious moments. These days I posses enough confidence to know that my butt looks way better in these jeans. And for nostalgia sake, maybe I will go look for my husband's flannel shirt.