There was a point when I first started tinkering with this blog where I thought it might be a good idea to have a place to spew out the negativity in my head. I came up with a name and everything. I brainstormed and thought about all the reasons I should do it. The main being just to have a place where I could vent. It's not like anyone would know it was me. Although I am fully aware that the internet is not totally anonymous. I thought if no one knew it was me what would it matter? I would have a place to say how hurt I was, or how no matter how hard I tried or how nice I was, I always ended up a villain in someone's story.
Even though I try my hardest to stay focused on the positives, I have those days. Sometimes those days coincide with days where I feel the need to consume large amounts of chocolate and/or ice cream or sometimes chocolate ice cream. I don't always do it...Just sayin.
I was on the verge of starting another chapter, a darker more sinister side of me. Then one night when I was blog hopping I came across something that completely changed my mind.
In the end all you have left behind is your documents. Your words.
And with that my mind swirled even more. Words have power. Even if we tell ourselves that they don't, they do. I could justify how I was hurt and how life is indeed unfair. And just typing that sentence seems juvenile. I couldn't leave behind that negativity. To have it sit there forever and dwell on it. So days later I decided against creating another dark hole in the internet. It's better that way. I couldn't write words that could potentially hurt people. No matter how much I wanted to vent. That just isn't me.
I just need to feel it, embrace it and move on, or maybe fly over it on my broom.