Pumas in the Grocery Store

A.K.A. Another Chapter in the Adventures of Soda.

I never knew that an imaginary dog would be so useful.  I have all the benefits of having a dog and now a cat but with no clean up and no costly Iams premium pet food.

I can not tell you how many times Soda has been assigned protection duty.

We were in the grocery store the other day.  And as much as I wished it was an in and out trip it was not.  It was one of those trips where were were out of everything and I needed to stock up.  So we were going to be there for awhile.

Clover had already went through the dum-dum stash I keep in my purse and was getting restless in the cart.  I was trying to keep her in there as long as possible because it's easier on me to just grab and go without trying to figure out where my 3 year old is running off too.  That is why every now and then I kidnap a helper to entertain her while I shop for canned tomatoes.

So I'm not sure if she got bored of if the tiny amount of sugar had hit her brain but her wheels were turning.  So out of no where she starts yelling

"MOOOOM!  THERE IS A PUMA BEHIND US!  WATCH OUT!!!!"  

Here is where I am pretty convinced that she is going to be an actress because she was pretty darn believable.  But it didn't stop there.  Still making our way through the store, not only was there an puma...

"MOM!  WATCH OUT OR THE ALLIGATOR!"

It's this panicky voice.  People are starting to turn and look because maybe there really could be a puma and an alligator in the grocery store.

"IT'S GONNA GET US!  RUN MOM, RUUUUN"

Every attempt to shush her has failed because in her mind there REALLY is a grocery store full of animals posed to attack us at any minute.  So then I wrangled in our pets.  Because isn't that what imaginary dogs are for?  To keep us safe?  What else can battle an imaginary puma but an imaginary dog?  

"Isn't this the exact reason that we keep Soda around?  Where is he?  Is he slacking on the job?  I'm not going to buy him any imaginary dog treats!"

"THERE IS SODA AND COFFEE MOM!  Whew!  They got em!"

"Oh, good.  I'm glad.  I didn't want to get eaten by a puma in the grocery store.  Do you want any applesauce?"

Soda and Coffee were pretty tired from brawling in the grocery store that they took a nice long nap in the truck as we drove home.  Then when we got home they got their treats.  They earned them.