Pumas in the Grocery Store

A.K.A. Another Chapter in the Adventures of Soda.

I never knew that an imaginary dog would be so useful.  I have all the benefits of having a dog and now a cat but with no clean up and no costly Iams premium pet food.

I can not tell you how many times Soda has been assigned protection duty.

We were in the grocery store the other day.  And as much as I wished it was an in and out trip it was not.  It was one of those trips where were were out of everything and I needed to stock up.  So we were going to be there for awhile.

Clover had already went through the dum-dum stash I keep in my purse and was getting restless in the cart.  I was trying to keep her in there as long as possible because it's easier on me to just grab and go without trying to figure out where my 3 year old is running off too.  That is why every now and then I kidnap a helper to entertain her while I shop for canned tomatoes.

So I'm not sure if she got bored of if the tiny amount of sugar had hit her brain but her wheels were turning.  So out of no where she starts yelling

"MOOOOM!  THERE IS A PUMA BEHIND US!  WATCH OUT!!!!"  

Here is where I am pretty convinced that she is going to be an actress because she was pretty darn believable.  But it didn't stop there.  Still making our way through the store, not only was there an puma...

"MOM!  WATCH OUT OR THE ALLIGATOR!"

It's this panicky voice.  People are starting to turn and look because maybe there really could be a puma and an alligator in the grocery store.

"IT'S GONNA GET US!  RUN MOM, RUUUUN"

Every attempt to shush her has failed because in her mind there REALLY is a grocery store full of animals posed to attack us at any minute.  So then I wrangled in our pets.  Because isn't that what imaginary dogs are for?  To keep us safe?  What else can battle an imaginary puma but an imaginary dog?  

"Isn't this the exact reason that we keep Soda around?  Where is he?  Is he slacking on the job?  I'm not going to buy him any imaginary dog treats!"

"THERE IS SODA AND COFFEE MOM!  Whew!  They got em!"

"Oh, good.  I'm glad.  I didn't want to get eaten by a puma in the grocery store.  Do you want any applesauce?"

Soda and Coffee were pretty tired from brawling in the grocery store that they took a nice long nap in the truck as we drove home.  Then when we got home they got their treats.  They earned them.

Soda Is One Spoiled Pup

This dog leads a very active life, especially for an imaginary dog.  Let me tell you.  I am starting to think that he needs a bell or possibly a shock collar to help keep him in the house.  I am not sure if Clover is letting him out or if he is getting out on his own.  From what I have been told he is an indoor dog so I don't need to worry about a fence.  I hate the idea that he is wondering around out there in the real world all by himself.  Who knows what kind of mischief he is getting himself into.

Apparently yesterday we added to the family with the addition of a girl cat named "Coffee".

Me:  How is Soda doing?

Clover:  Good.  He has a new friend.

Me:  ?

Clover:  He has a friend that is a cat.  Her name is Coffee.  She is a girl cat.  Soda is a boy.  She is brown with white.  Not like Gray Kitty (gray kitty is the neighborhood cat that likes to hang out in the back yard).

Me:  Is she a nice kitty?

Clover:  Yeah.  But they don't share their toys.  They don't share their cat and dog toys.

She then went on to tell me that Soda went over to her Aunt and Uncle's place to help watch over them.  This is the same Aunt and Uncle that she is convinced are the ones leaving milk out for the kitten in "Kitten's First Full Moon".  So she knew they would take very good care of her dog.  She even went as far as to ask them over the phone last night if they were taking care of Soda.  Her Aunt lovingly reassured her that they were indeed taking very good care of her dog.  He was relaxing and eating snacks while at their house.  Spoiled dog.

I again feel bad that I didn't notice that he was missing.  He came back today.  Do they make a bell for an imaginary dog?  Now I got to get one for the cat too.      

Missing

"Mom!  Soda is lost!  I can't find him anywhere!"

Apparently he was lost this morning!  Clover filled me in on the details for the poster.  But not to worry folks, we found him.  He was hanging out at the Costco gas station.  Where else would an imaginary dog hang out?  He followed us home.  

Me:  He's behind us?

Clover:  Yeah he's behind us.

Grandma:  He runs pretty fast!

Me:  Yeah like over 50 mph!  

When we got home Clover told us we left him outside so of course she had to go get him and bring him in. He's not in trouble or anything.  We are glad to have him home.  I feel bad that I didn't notice he was missing.  

If you are confused by all this just fill in the blanks here.