It's quiet around here. Not just decibel wise but chatter wise as well. This has left my mind to wonder. Sometimes I have those moments where my thoughts get all jumbled together and somehow they make sense. Kind of like a connect the dots picture. I'm not sure if this is one of those moments. I guess we will see how it comes together in the end.
The only noise I hear right now besides the clicking of the keyboard is the clicking in the dryer. It never fails that whatever I am drying seems to be noisy. Today was laundry day and while I wish I could say I knocked the pile out that would be a lie. I started with good intentions but I couldn't keep up the momentum to do any real damage. I just switched over the load and I think I somehow managed to get fabric softener in my hair. Ah the life of Wifus Domesticus or as Roseanne once put it "The Domestic Goddess".
So anyhow back to the randomness that is my mind. I've been giving some thought to how people come in and out of my life. I wonder if there is a pattern. If I look back five years or even three some of the same people are no longer around. From my perspective there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason. But that doesn't say much. I have learned through the years that everyone has their own realities and sometimes we aren't all on the same page. Sometimes we aren't even reading the same books.
From time to time my insecurities start wearing on me and I do wonder if it was something I did or said. I wonder if it's just easier to let the friendship fade away than confront me to say what it was I did. My insecurities also like to point out that it's not only some of my friendships that have faded but also my Husbands. Since we have been "together since the fifties" we have cycled through a few groups of friends and I wonder if it was something that his annoying girlfriend/fiance/wife said or did that put them off?
It's not something I lose sleep over because right now I have a rockin group of wonderful and supportive people that I am lucky enough to call my friends. But it's something that I think about when things are quiet.
I love you Judy. We all have these moments of wondering what it was we did wrong or if we did anything at all. I often wonder about the people I let into my life as well. I'm not one to let in the world but I do enjoy the socialness of life and I can't help but feel down when someone I've let in suddenly disappears without a reason at all. Was it me? I think that God just brings people into our lives and at times it has nothing to do with us at all more so for the other person and all I can do is hope that I left some what of a positive impression on their life although I'm sure that over the years there has been a lot of not so good memories but we live, we learn we grow up. Today my devotion was about the Old Lady we someday will meet. One day we will all catch up with that old Lady look in our face and see ourselves. When we look back at the life before the old lady we should just be reassured that the life we lead to get here was done well and hope that we don't become the grumpy old lady that no one wants to be around. I love you to pieces!!!!
ReplyDeleteAwww! Love you too! I think that the life cycle makes me appreciate people that are in our lives a little bit more. I definitely think that the ones in our lives are supposed to be there for whatever reason. I just hope that I am just as good of a friend to those who are to me. If that makes any sense. lol. I'm working on enjoying my life so that I don't turn into that grumpy old lady!
ReplyDeleteHeya Judy! I love moments like you described. The peaceful, quiet, with a subtle background noise and a mind full of thoughts. In my opinion, the whole people coming and going is all part of life. I have experienced the same thing and I really don't bother to think that its anything but just life passing by. Sure, there are those that you might have had a good friendship with but friendship is an effort from both parties. People have to make the effort of staying in touch and when that effort is just one person, that's when its time to move on. There are plenty of interesting people you will meet in your life time. Analyzing them is the fun part (at least for me it is). You will find that people are all the same minus a couple of minor details. I am sure that the same people you are thinking about have thought or are thinking the same about the people that have passed by in their lives, including you.
ReplyDeleteJust make the best with what you have and keep that beautiful personality of yours always.