Sunday, October 6, 2013

If You Give Juju A Cookie...

Have you ever read If You Give A Mouse A Cookie?  It's an adorable story about giving a mouse a cookie that leads this kid on a little adventure.  Like this kids whole day is blown because they gave a mouse a cookie.  It's pretty much the premise for my entire life.  Like if I go to the grocery store, I will have to make a list...then I will have to find a pen and paper...I will have to shop...take the bags to the car... take the bags in...unpack...clean out the fridge...and take out the garbage.

It's like this with ALL the projects I want to work on.

I wanted to string up lights this weekend.  They were these cute blacklight Halloween lights.  You know the tiny bulbs that everyone just calls Christmas lights?  So I bought four packs the other day while I was waiting for Clover's meds to be ready at the pharmacy.  I went to grab the ladder that had been outside only to find out that a bird had tried to make a nest in it.  So I sweep off the nest only to find a bajillion tiny bird droppings all over the ladder!  Ick ick and tripple ick.  So now I have to wash the ladder.  So I have to take it over, find the bleach and spray that sucker down.  So even though I had my heart set on putting up the lights I know that a wet, metal ladder and electricity do not mix.  I'm smart like that.

So now I have to find a plan b.  Why another plan?  Because I have this weird tick where when I set my mind to finish something I am going to gosh darn finish it!  I call it a tick, my husband thinks I'm insane.  Tomayto...toemato.  Most people would give up and try another day.  Not me.  If I don't have a tool I need, I will improvise.  I have duct tape!  Enter the step ladder and a stick.  Not just any stick but a Y shaped stick.

So after I figure out where the thing is going to plug in, I start stringing.  And then I get to the top of the garage.  The highest point on the house.  Which again would have not been a problem had the ladder not had a metric ton of bird crap on it.  So then a light bulb goes off in my head.  I grab Clover's Barbie fishing pole and my thinking is that if I fling the bobber over the light on the garage I can just reel them over.  Sounds good in theory right?  Nope.  Three attempts and nothing.  The lights are just too heavy for the fishing pole.  The string snaps.  I guess the people making these kiddie fishing poles think that these kids aren't going to catch anything bigger than a minnow because the string that comes on those things snaps after about two pounds of pressure.  Now a mental note to restring the bright pink Barbie fishing pole.

So I am already invested in this project.  And I mentioned earlier that my husband thinks I am insane right?  Probably because I am.  So the Y shaped stick of light stringing doom is about an inch too short to make it over the light on the top of the garage.  Enter mental rage because I couldn't really rage with my daughter playing in the yard.  At this point another light bulb goes off in my head.  I'm surrounded by them at this point.  I have duct tape!  So I grab a marshmallow roasting fork with a U in the top.  Then I duct tape it to the stick.  Not kidding here people.  I already told you I was invested.  To top it off it was pretty duct tape not that silver kind!  Back on the step ladder with the Frankenstick of light stringing doom.  Finally cleared the light and finish stringing up the house.

Seriously all of that just to put some lights on the house.

I think I deserve that cookie now!        

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