All The Dresses

I like to start brainstorming for All Hallow's Eve early because if I am going to whip up an outfit it's going to take some time.  Clover has already decided that she was going to be Merida this year.  So I decided that I wanted to dress up too.  So I will be playing the part of Elinor, Merida's mother.  I found some ideas from various websites.  One of them is a quick overview of the costume.   I found a few websites that would make the dress but the prices where way out of the price range I would pay to wear it for one night.  So did some more internet searching and found a pattern that I felt came pretty close to what I was looking for.

bottom right corner?

 
I was pretty excited when I got the pattern in the mail.  Clover asked me what it was so I explained that it has instructions to tell me how to make these dresses.  Her eyes grew three sizes and she exclaimed

"Wait?!?  You mean YOU CAN MAKE DRESSES?"

Even though she has seen me make several things she never thought I could make dresses since we bought them.  The dress up ones usually came in the mail because I found some killer deals online.  It took her awhile to form her mind around the fact that I could whip up costumes.

I'm not sure this is a good thing.

A master list has been created.  She has been asking me to whip up every dress she sees.  We watched Enchanted for the first time this week and every dress Gisele was in, she now wants.  I told her that we should probably make a list since the list keeps growing.  So she sat down this morning and wrote one out for me.

Her cursive writing.

The top one is "the white dress, the blue dress and the pink dress that Gisele has"  and the second line is "A Belle dress that is NOT scratchy".  Followed up with "A witches dress like the ones that Winny, Mary, or Sarah wears".  She asked me when we were going to go fabric shopping and get started on all of her dresses.  I had to stall her by telling her we had to find patterns and that takes awhile.

I need a team of mice and birds to help me get sewing all the dresses.  Anyone know where I can find some sewing furry woodland creatures?  Singing is optional.

Conversations with 4 Year Old

Last night we were reading "Where The Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak.  There is a line in the book when the forest starts to take over Max's room: "until the ceiling hung with vines..."

Clover pops up "Mom there aren't even any vines in this story!"

Sure enough we finished the book and she was right.  There is not a single vine in any of the illustrations. I guess as an adult I am too focused on the words of the story and not the pictures.  You would  think since it was published in 1963 someone else would have notice that?

********************

Clover:  Mom help me with my bathing suit!

Me:  It's too cold to get in the pool right now.

Clover:  But I want to do the hula!

Me:  What does that have to do with anything?

Clover:  Because you do the hula at the beach...and you need a bathing suit at the beach.

Me:  But we are not at the beach.

Clover:  But I need it to do the HULLLLAAAA!

At this point I figured it was useless to argue with the logic of a four year old.

********************

Hubby:  I don't know what I want to do today.  I want to go to the movies...or maybe shopping.

Me:  You're just restless.

Hubby:  Maybe

Me:  We could go to the (I spelled it out because I was just throwing it out there and didn't want Clover to get too excited) D-I-S-N-E-Y store and spoil your daughter.

Clover:  I LOVE GOING TO THE DISNEY STORE!  CAN WE GO?!?

I'm dumbfounded.  When did she learn how to spell Disney?  I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared?

Another Chapter: We Bought a Cake!

It's probably something that someone should never have to buy a cake for.  We wanted to celebrate.  It's not necessarily the end of our journey but it is a milestone that we wanted to celebrate.  To us it's kind of a big deal.

It says "Yay No More AFP Tests!"

Clover got to pick the cake out and she wanted the chocolate chocolate cake with the pretty pretty flowers on it.  I wanted to draw a needle with the big NO sign through it but it would have gotten lost in all the pretty pretty flowers.

Thursday we got the call that her Tumor markers were down.  They have been down for awhile but we were still testing to make sure.  The doctor said last year that we were testing too often to this was the first test we had done in six months.  Since they have been down she said we should stop testing all together.

It is great news and a huge deal for us.

Our little roller coast ride started when my darling Clover was born.    

Every month for the first two years of her life we spent an hour in a lab waiting to get her blood taken.  It was a monthly ritual that I dreaded.  The first time we went to lab at our local Children's hospital only to find out that they didn't take our insurance.  They told us that any of the labs on under our insurance should be able to get her blood taken.  This proved easier said than done.  I went to a lab that said they were capable of taking blood from a newborn.  I held my daughter down as the tech tried to take her blood.  The needle was so large that if she missed she was going to push that thing right through my baby's arm.  She tried four times and then yelled at me because I wasn't holding my screaming baby the way she wanted me too.  I went home and balled.  During our check up with our surgeon I told him about the trouble I was having finding a lab and he told me how important it was to get her tested and then said he would call the insurance for me.  I gave it one more shot and called every lab in the town and asked them if they had specifically pediatric experience.  I found one guy.  He was able to take her blood with one poke and with a much smaller needle.  He was our guy from then on and I would call every month to find out if he was in and if he wasn't in when he would be in.  Once a month I practically stalked him.

When her first test was taken her AFP numbers where in the 400's.  A normal person's is under 35.  They steadily went down until she was ten months where they mysteriously spiked.  They went from 127 to 215.  Our small team jumped into action and scheduled an MRI to look for signs of growth.  Handing my daughter over to the nurses was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do.  We waited for hours in the waiting room.  When we got the call back that there was nothing there we were a bit surprised.  They could never explain the spike in her markers.  We were also a bit taken back when they said that she possibly had a collapsed lung.  At first I stressed out but then staring at daughter I knew she didn't have a collapsed lung because she was very good at letting me know when she wasn't happy.  She has always been a very loud child.  There was no way she wasn't using both of her lungs.  We went back for an X-ray and hearing her yell about putting her down on the X-ray table the tech told me that as loud as she was she probably didn't have a collapsed lung.  I laughed.  I already knew that.  They called back and said that it was probably due to shallow breathing due to the anesthesia.  She was fine.

Before she was three they said that we were testing too often and that we could back down to every three months.  This was good news to me.  It meant that I would only have to stress out every three months instead of twice a month.  Once to go and get her test and then the three days after waiting for the results.

As she got older she become very curious about the blood test.  At one point she told everyone she wanted to be a doctor.  There was one time where she was so interested in what the Phlebotomist was doing that she didn't notice that she was getting poked.  That was the only time she didn't cry.  I think I felt worse.  I felt like had gotten so used to it.  I took her to go and get ice cream because I felt so bad.

We've always been very honest with her about what happened.  She was very curious at a young age to why she had to go to the doctors office and the lab so often.  We told her that she was born with a large tumor on her butt-butt and that she had surgery on the day she was born, and that the blood tests were to make sure that it wasn't coming back.  She seems okay with that explanation.

Last year her numbers were under 18 but would bounce around a bit.  The doctor didn't seemed to worried about it since they were still under 35.  She consulted an Oncologist who said that once again we were testing too often and to wait six months this time.  She also said that if her numbers were still down this next time around that we would be done with testing.  Fast forward to last week where they were down.

There was a big collective "Yaaaaaaaaaaay" and a chocolate chocolate cake with pretty pretty flowers.  I know that this is always going to be something that we have to check up on but it's nice to have it in the background and not having to constantly worry about it.  It's nice to worry about normal kid stuff like making sure the slice of cake she gets isn't TOO large!  Not that it really matters, she only eats the frosting anyways.                

Where Did March Go?

I was looking forward to March.  With the health problems and Dr. appointments that took over the Christmas season I feel like I got robbed of that magical time.  So in my head I had vowed to make it up to my Clover.  The beginning of March appeared and the marathon of planning had begun.  There were portraits to take.  There was a low key birthday party to plan and execute.  There was also our Disneyland trip to plan and prep for and eventually recover from.  There were also friend's birthdays and a baby to wait for (still waiting).  And just like that March was over.

This year I feel like for the first time I was actually able to focus on Clover's birthday.  This time the previous years we had to do blood tests around the same time as her birthday, so at the same time we were celebrating the anniversary of her life, we were also reminded of the roller coaster we boarded afterwards.  This year we were told that we were testing too often and that they recommended that we get her blood test every six months.  So that puts our next test in April.  At first I was apprehensive about waiting but at the same time I now see it as a blessing.  I was actually able to focus on the here and now along with the future without being reminded of our past.  Whatever happens next month I will deal with then.  But for now it is nice enjoying the now.

Clover had an excellent birthday!  She got to choose the theme of her birthday party and decided that she wanted a Bubble Party!  Everything seemed to be going great until our oh so unpredictable weather decided it didn't want to play along.  And yes I stressed about it.  At the last minuted a block of sunshine appeared and we rushed the kids outside to have some bubble fun before it started storming again.  She is very much my social butterfly.  The only thing she wanted was to spend time with her friends and family.  She totally didn't realize she was even getting presents, even with all of the gifts stacked on the coffee table.

We were hesitant to let people know we were going to Disneyland.  You would be surprised how many people have an opinion on the subject.  Clover had an awesome time with so many great memories that it was all worth it.

A must do when you are at the big D at your birthday is to get a button!  Just let anyone know that it's your birthday and they will get you a button.  We let the hotel know and they had a button waiting, along with a glossy signed 8x10 of the Princesses, which at the current moment in time is Clover's favorite (as if I needed to remind you).  They also give everyone celebrating their own buttons which are cute.  Clover put her button on for her birthday and was amazed at how many people told her happy birthday.  Every Cast Member she came across excitedly wished her a happy birthday!  She was amazed that everyone also knew her name (which was on the button).  We all realized that this puts a big kink in the ongoing Stranger Danger talk but decided to pick it back up when we got home.  I am always amazed at the level of patience that Cast Members posses.  Along with Starbucks employees.  They see literally thousands of people a day.  Some nice and some not so nice, but somehow they always seem so happy to talk to you!

We only ran into a couple of rude people in the park.  I know everyone has their days but I can't understand how people can be grumpy at the Happiest Place on Earth.  Clover gets excited at the mention of the place.  We might not tell her the next time we go just because she was so excited the night before that she could not sleep.  So in turn we couldn't sleep!  That morning it was hard not to let her enthusiasm infect you as well.  And she did not let up the entire time we were there.  She managed one nap while we were there and hit the pillow every night at ten only to wake up again by herself at six.  I will admit that I couldn't keep up!  I think that's why we had to spend a few days recovering when we got home!

Now that we are all recovered and rested it's nice to catch up on all of the things that I've been neglected.  Like my bloggy blog and the laundry.  Okay so not the laundry...So here I am spending the last day of March debating getting up and starting a load of laundry.  Oh and waiting for my friend's baby!

So bring it on April!

Pumas in the Grocery Store

A.K.A. Another Chapter in the Adventures of Soda.

I never knew that an imaginary dog would be so useful.  I have all the benefits of having a dog and now a cat but with no clean up and no costly Iams premium pet food.

I can not tell you how many times Soda has been assigned protection duty.

We were in the grocery store the other day.  And as much as I wished it was an in and out trip it was not.  It was one of those trips where were were out of everything and I needed to stock up.  So we were going to be there for awhile.

Clover had already went through the dum-dum stash I keep in my purse and was getting restless in the cart.  I was trying to keep her in there as long as possible because it's easier on me to just grab and go without trying to figure out where my 3 year old is running off too.  That is why every now and then I kidnap a helper to entertain her while I shop for canned tomatoes.

So I'm not sure if she got bored of if the tiny amount of sugar had hit her brain but her wheels were turning.  So out of no where she starts yelling

"MOOOOM!  THERE IS A PUMA BEHIND US!  WATCH OUT!!!!"  

Here is where I am pretty convinced that she is going to be an actress because she was pretty darn believable.  But it didn't stop there.  Still making our way through the store, not only was there an puma...

"MOM!  WATCH OUT OR THE ALLIGATOR!"

It's this panicky voice.  People are starting to turn and look because maybe there really could be a puma and an alligator in the grocery store.

"IT'S GONNA GET US!  RUN MOM, RUUUUN"

Every attempt to shush her has failed because in her mind there REALLY is a grocery store full of animals posed to attack us at any minute.  So then I wrangled in our pets.  Because isn't that what imaginary dogs are for?  To keep us safe?  What else can battle an imaginary puma but an imaginary dog?  

"Isn't this the exact reason that we keep Soda around?  Where is he?  Is he slacking on the job?  I'm not going to buy him any imaginary dog treats!"

"THERE IS SODA AND COFFEE MOM!  Whew!  They got em!"

"Oh, good.  I'm glad.  I didn't want to get eaten by a puma in the grocery store.  Do you want any applesauce?"

Soda and Coffee were pretty tired from brawling in the grocery store that they took a nice long nap in the truck as we drove home.  Then when we got home they got their treats.  They earned them.

Juju's Whirlwind Tour

When Hubs asked us if we wanted to go I thought it would be a good idea.  Hubs had two days of meetings and I figured Clover and I could have a mini vacation.

And then I remembered that big cities are on the short list of things Juju Doesn't Do.  You see, I grew up in a farm town and surrounding small cities.  You can go ahead and insert jokes about me being a hick here.  You wouldn't be the first clever person to come up with those all on your own.  We moved to the "big city" when I was in the 6th grade.  Then I got older and realized that my big city is small compared to the rest of the world.

I am always in awe when I travel because I can't wrap my head around big city living.  There are plenty of things for us to do as a tourist but I can't wrap my head around how they do normal things like grocery shopping.  I didn't spot one single grocery store while we were there and to go to the office depot you had to park in a four story parking garage.  Navigating through San Francisco traffic left me on the verge of tears.  I can see why everyone walks everywhere.  We parked the car at the hotel and left it there for two and half days.  On the first day Clover and I borrowed a stroller from the hotel.  Which I didn't know they had until I read the hotel guide.  We walked around the neighborhood and checked out the sights.  We found a park and a free concert.

Waiting for Yerba Buena Concert Series

I wish I had taken a camera.  After packing for three people including work clothes for the hubby I forgot the touristy stuff like a camera.  All the pictures I took were on my cell phone.  All that walking and dancing left us starving.  So we walked around to find something suitable for lunch and found Mo's Grill.  My hamburger was awesome!    

Plain Cheeseburger with literally a mountain of garlic fries.

Clover demolished hers and started to attack her plain fries with a lake full of catsup.

We found a playground and played and explored for a bit.  Then we headed over to Zeum.  A local children's museum.  

Zeum is undergoing some construction and looks as if they are reopening under a different name.  They had some cool stuff for older kids to do and a few things for littler ones but not a whole lot to do for the in-between.  Clover enjoyed herself.  She especially loved the Special Effects slide.  It was a green slide and as they went down it you could choose a digital background and it shows you on a tv screen.  I think Clovers favorite was the fish tank.  She really seemed to like it so I don't want to bash the place but they seem a bit over priced to me for what they offer.  Maybe if Clover was older we could have taken advantage of all of the booths.  We did take full advantage of the music video booth.  

After the Zeum we went back to the room for a brief visit with the hubs before he headed back out.  We ordered dinner and dessert.  After we watched some terrible hotel tv, we crashed.  There was a few meltdowns while watching hotel tv.  My darling daughter is used to netflix.  We can watch whatever we want, whenever we want.  She had a hard time understanding that while traveling I can't control what we watch.  

On Day two we hung out and got breakfast.  We had three hours to kill in-between checking out and Hubby getting out of his meeting.  After browsing some guide books we narrowed it down to catching a movie or catching a bus.  I let Clover pick.  She picked the bus.

We jumped on the double decker downtown loop bus.

A display of vintage sewing machines.  

Union Square

Bay Bridge.

The tour guide was pretty nice.  You pay for the tour but the pass is valid for 48 hours and you can hop on or off at any of their stops.  So you could buy a pass and just take the bus all over San Francisco for two days.  You would never have to drive.  Had I known this I would have taken it the day before.  If we ever go back I will have to keep that in mind.  I'm not in a rush to go back after dealing with all the traffic.  It was gnarly.  

Over all I had a great time with my daughter jaunting all around town.  She tells me all the time now that she LOOOOVES San Francisco.  I'm so glad she is adventurous!  I regret not walking down Market and hitting up some shops.  I will put that on the list for next time.      

Beyond the Whine

The last week or so has been very interesting around these parts.  I keep telling myself it's a phase but with each passing day it just seems to get worse.  We are half a year into the threes.  I thought I was good surviving the so called terrible twos.  But let me tell you...the twos ain't got nothing on the threes.

Whining has taken over the house along with the classic "But I Waaaaaaant it" wail.  She stops just short of throwing herself on the ground and kicking her feet.  I however after dealing with all of this want to throw myself down and start kicking my feet.  I restrain myself because I don't want to set a bad example.  The thought has occurred to me...

That I am much too lenient with her.

I realized this today and it has put me in a foul mood of sorts.  It's just one more of those parent things that we have to learn along the way.  I know that correcting the problems at this point are going to be twice as hard.  Letting things slide every now and then has slowly added up.

I know that I am not only her first role model but also one of her first teachers.  Some rules need to be laid out and enforced.  This has been the hard part for me.  I somewhere thought there was a balance between coddling and discipline.  If there is, I sure as heck haven't found it yet.  It's hard.  I get it.  Especially when your little red headed cutie apologizes and looks at you with those beautiful eyes while telling you it won't happen again, then kisses you.  My heart melts.

My job as her Mommy includes guiding her.  Part of that also includes helping her figure out acceptable and appropriate behaviors.  This is the part I need to work on and I acknowledge that.  I see that as the first step forward.

Time for Mommy to start making baby steps.

Soda Is One Spoiled Pup

This dog leads a very active life, especially for an imaginary dog.  Let me tell you.  I am starting to think that he needs a bell or possibly a shock collar to help keep him in the house.  I am not sure if Clover is letting him out or if he is getting out on his own.  From what I have been told he is an indoor dog so I don't need to worry about a fence.  I hate the idea that he is wondering around out there in the real world all by himself.  Who knows what kind of mischief he is getting himself into.

Apparently yesterday we added to the family with the addition of a girl cat named "Coffee".

Me:  How is Soda doing?

Clover:  Good.  He has a new friend.

Me:  ?

Clover:  He has a friend that is a cat.  Her name is Coffee.  She is a girl cat.  Soda is a boy.  She is brown with white.  Not like Gray Kitty (gray kitty is the neighborhood cat that likes to hang out in the back yard).

Me:  Is she a nice kitty?

Clover:  Yeah.  But they don't share their toys.  They don't share their cat and dog toys.

She then went on to tell me that Soda went over to her Aunt and Uncle's place to help watch over them.  This is the same Aunt and Uncle that she is convinced are the ones leaving milk out for the kitten in "Kitten's First Full Moon".  So she knew they would take very good care of her dog.  She even went as far as to ask them over the phone last night if they were taking care of Soda.  Her Aunt lovingly reassured her that they were indeed taking very good care of her dog.  He was relaxing and eating snacks while at their house.  Spoiled dog.

I again feel bad that I didn't notice that he was missing.  He came back today.  Do they make a bell for an imaginary dog?  Now I got to get one for the cat too.      

Missing

"Mom!  Soda is lost!  I can't find him anywhere!"

Apparently he was lost this morning!  Clover filled me in on the details for the poster.  But not to worry folks, we found him.  He was hanging out at the Costco gas station.  Where else would an imaginary dog hang out?  He followed us home.  

Me:  He's behind us?

Clover:  Yeah he's behind us.

Grandma:  He runs pretty fast!

Me:  Yeah like over 50 mph!  

When we got home Clover told us we left him outside so of course she had to go get him and bring him in. He's not in trouble or anything.  We are glad to have him home.  I feel bad that I didn't notice he was missing.  

If you are confused by all this just fill in the blanks here.  

Re-Affirmations

Affirmation by Savage Garden via Grooveshark.  I had originally put a youtube video in here but thanks to Sony Music I can't play it on my blog so I decided to use Grooveshark instead.

There is this line in the song that goes "I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem".  That lyric has been stuck with me for about a week now.  It all stems from and interaction with my darling Clover.  I sat down and Clover pointed to my belly and and asked 

"What's that?" 

 "My roll"

"Oh."  She sat there for a minute.  "I love your roll, Mommy"

I had to laugh.  Once again my daughter had left me dumbfounded and at a loss for words.  What do I say to that?  My first thought was something self deprecating.  I as quick as possible had to move that thought out of my head.  I told her Thank You and that I loved her.  

So for the last week or so all these thoughts have been circling around my noggin.  I don't want my negative thoughts about my body to affect my daughter.  I know I have things I need to work on and I am making positive steps in that direction.  But I still have my days where I'm not all that confident in what I am wearing.  This isn't the first interaction with her where I have had to stop myself from making comments about myself.  

I am becoming more conscious of what I say.  Right now my daughter sees herself as perfect.  She doesn't see her scar.    Right now she sees her Mommy as perfect.  She doesn't see any imperfections.  She just sees me and she loves me for that.  Why would I tell her otherwise?  

So where does our self esteem comes from.  Is it influenced by outside sources?  Is it one of those temperaments that we are born with?  This is the part where I reference back to the song because there are some times when I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem.  They all at some point or another tell us that we should be comfortable with ourselves, and then offer a contradictory article on the opposite page.  Luckily, I have a few more years before she starts diving into Cosmo.  

For now, I am her first role model.  I know that all I can do is the try the best I can.  I can't be doing that bad of a job since she just came up and told me how pretty I look as I just get up in the morning and haven't had a moment to run a brush through my hair. I gave her a kiss and told her how beautiful she looked this morning.  One of those moments where I love my job.  

  

The Return of Soda

So for the longest time my daughter has been a night waker.  When she was little I would go in and comfort her and she would go back to sleep.  I know there are a lot of you that are going to scream "cry it out" but I couldn't let her sit in a dark room and cry.  Feel free to judge away.  So I go in and kiss her good night and she goes back to sleep.  Since she has had her big girl bed she now gets up out of bed, opens the door and comes and gets in bed with us.  If it's closer to 12, I walk her back to her bed.  If it's closer to 5 then she gets to stay since she will sleep a little later in our bed.  We cycle through night wakings.  Some months she has one or two nights where she gets up and some months she gets up every night.  Earlier this year I was at my wits end on what to do.  So I asked her.

"Babe, Why do you keep getting up and getting in our bed?"

"Mommy, there is a dog in my room."

Bewildered, I pressed on.

"What dog?"

"His name is Soda.  He comes out of the hole in my floor.  He gets in my bed with me and wakes me up."

She was 2 and about 3/4's when she came up with this little story and I have to admit when she told it my mouth dropped.  I just stared at my husband for a minute.  What?  Really?  Did she just make all this up on her own?  What do I do now?

I was a little stumped on what to do next since she has a fear of dogs.  Our neighbors dog has been a thorn in my side since she is deathly scared of him and his favorite activity is to sit by her window and bark his head off.  At first I thought she was talking about him.  I asked her to show me the hole and she brought me into her room and showed me the tiny space in between her bed and the floor.  Most kids have imaginary friends or monsters...mine has a dog.

So we played a long.  We told Soda to get out and we even brought in her Deee to help board up the hole so Soda could no longer get out.  It stayed like that for while.

Then tonight...

"Mom...Soda is under my bed again"

"What?"  I laid down and started to shout at our imaginary dog and Clover yelled at me.

"Mooooom.  Nooooo!"  She continued with "Soda is a good dog!  He watches over me at night now"

She then called him up on her bed and laid down.  "Cmon Soda.  Get up here...See Mom...He sleeps with me and I stay in my own bed".

Again I sat there completely bewildered and muttered out and "oooookay".

I'm glad that she was able to become friends with Soda.  We could use a guard dog around here!  

 

Checkin Off the List

We went out yesterday to run some errands and my poor Clover got a heat rash.  So today we thought we got out early enough to beat the heat.  No luck.  Still hot.  Clover's heat rash returned.  So for the rest of the day we have been held up inside.  So what to do for the rest of the day?  We got in the kitchen and made a double batch of some Kool-Aid Playdough.  So we can scratch that off of the Summer List.  

Mix together dry ingredients.

(It is helpful if you have a Red Head Cutie helping you)

Add Kool-Aid (we used lemon lime) to the water and add.

Cook on medium heat until mostly cooked.

When cooled to the touch, knead until smooth.

(Thanks to the Hubs who brought me a treat) 

Thanks to Tee who took pictures of us kneading and playing.

Then we hung out outside while the boys worked on some outdoors projects.  While outside I started the grill up to make grilled pizzas and once again managed to catch the grill on fire.  Yes they are supposed to be on fire...but when you turn off the gas there shouldn't still be a flame gently kissing the trees above.  It has managed to catch on fire at least once a year.  To the point where baking soda is in the cupboard is not for baking.  So with the grill cleaned off it was time to make dinner.  We had grilled pizza made with home made pizza dough from a totally awesome recipe here.  

Nice way to kick off the three day weekend.  Minus the heat rash issues and the grill catching on fire.    

She Wants It All (Crafty Post)

I'm so excited!  I finished Clover's stage today.  It's a little High School Musical themed.

 
Clover has been doing this thing lately where she throws all the stuff off her bed and uses it as a stage.  That was giving me the heebee-jeebees because her no sock wearin feet were jumping all over her nice and clean sheets.  Ick.  So then my friend mentions that maybe we would pull our crafty brainpower and fix her up a stage.  Good idea!

So we started brainstorming and made a trip to Lowe's and meandered through the isles.  But then the paranoid Mommy brain kicked in and I started worrying about pesticides in wood and sanding and then I would have to finish it with some sort of stain.  Also, she would be on it bare foot so it would have to be smooth.  So I decided to do some more research and parked the idea in the back of my head.

Fast forward to the Ikea trip we took last weekend.  The trip in which we not only got lost WITH the nav but also took a donut detour.  Good times.  So I am in Ikea in total sensory overload.  My brain just starts moving while I am there.  I always come home with tons of things that were not on my list.  Like a stage.

It's really a Coffee Table (linked here).  Or the top of it actually.  Clover doesn't do well with steps.  She has fallen off the front one more than a few times and is hesitant.  So I needed something that wasn't too high.  I was originally going to go with some 4x4's but the height of the top of the coffee table was only like 2 inches so she can run on and off of it fairly easily.  She has actually been on it all day today.

The legs and the middle part are still in my garage.  I can figure out something else for them later.  And if this one doesn't last I have the middle part to replace it.  I'm not sure what the finish is called but it wipes off any dirt and scuff marks sooo easy.  It's the same stuff that is on our office desks and Clover has colored all over those and back and it just wipes off with a baby wipe.  It's actually really sturdy.  Daddy was dancing on it today as well.  It went in plain white yesterday.  We added some embellishments today.

It says "You want the world...nothing less, all the glam & the press"  and the bottom part says "I want it all"  Along with some stars.  The letters are two inch letters cut out of hot pink vinyl in the Mickey Font on my cricut.  I use my circut for so many crafts other than scrapbooking.

The quotes comes from High School Musical 3.  Which is one of Clover's favorite movies.  It came on one time on the Disney Channel on day while it was raining and the TV was on in the background.  She watched it and was hooked.  I know it's a weird movie for a three year old to be into but Alice n Wonderland with Depp was on her favorites of all time list too.

Anyways, Sharpay is one of her favorite characters and she loves the song "I want it all" so I went with the lyric from that.  Putting on the letters was a bit tricky only because Clover had chocolate cake after dinner and was sugared up and wanted to play horsey while Mommy added the letters to her stage.

Note to self...Don't try to do things while child is sugared up.    

Chicken Butt

The following conversation took place between 12:30pm and 1:30pm

Clover:  "Gwramma...You know what?

Grandma:  "What?"

Clover:  "Chicken Butt!"

Giggling ensues.

Grandma totally didn't see that coming.  This is one of those moments where I feel my job as a parent is the best in the world.

Chatterbox

I've been on the receiving end of many of these sorts of conversations.  This however was the first time I had ever been a parent on this side of the looking glass.  In the end...all I could do was laugh, nod my head and feel myself turn red.

I ran into a very sweet lady that I used to work with.  We were both shopping and I spotted her so I stopped to chat.  We talked about the place we used to work at and how they are currently going through a rough spot.  We talked about how big Clover is getting.  And then my darling daughter decided to hijack the conversation.  Which is just further proof that she is her father's daughter!

"Can I ask you a question....You see my question is...I went to a birthday party and this naughty boy took my candy!  and my dad said he is going to kick his butt!"

I had to translate some parts.  It never occurred to me to translate something that wasn't so embarrassing.  I'm sure my friend has heard her fair share of these stories.  This gal is someone that I looked up too while I was working and helped me settle in before I decided to leave when I found out I was pregnant.  She was in a way my mentor.  And here is my daughter telling her that her Daddy is gonna knock some heads.  On one hand it's cute and on the other I don't want her thinking that we are all about the violence.  

I just sat there and turned five shades of red.  Which is normal for me.  Whenever I feel any sort of emotion I tend to turn red.

In the long run this is probably the least embarrassing thing that she will say.  I know that there are many a stories on the way in which my daughter embarrasses me.  This is probably the first time that it happened with someone who wasn't family.  I just thought I would share now that the redness has subsided.

Good Friday

It's been one of those weeks where I feel as if I have hardly sat down but I can't exactly say what I have done.  Lot's of ups and downs.  I have had a lot of thoughts up there in the noggin that I will have to eventually get out.

I need to keep a journal in the truck since I seem to do a lot of thinking in there and the thoughts fly out as soon as I open the truck door.  So my thoughts for right now...

Today is Good Friday.

My daughter was born on Good Friday.  

We went to the Zoo.

Then we had a cake pop from Starbucks to celebrate.

Definitely a good Friday.

Tales Chapter 2

Tales from the Hamster Files: Chapter 2

She brought him into the kitchen.  He was quiet.  She repeatedly pushed on the pink buttons on his back.  Then she looked at me with those big eyes.  She was sad.

"Mommy...He wont work.  He's broken."

At this point I was conflicted.  It is true that I am not the hamsters biggest fan.  I am convinced that it is indeed payback from my sister in law for the doll that I got my niece a few years back.  I imagine my Sis in law in the toy isle cackling out a maniacal evil laugh as onlookers snicker because they know she has found a "payback" gift.

I could have told my darling Clover that the batteries died or that he wasn't feeling well.  But looking into her big sad eyes I just couldn't lie to her.

I laid him on the surgical table and put on my mask and gloves.  I reached for my scalpel.  And when I say scalpel, I mean screwdriver.  I opened him up and searched in the junk drawer for 2 Triple A's.  Everyone has a junk drawer.  You know that drawer that catches everything you can't find a place for.  Lots of batteries and randomness that you just can't seem to get rid of for some reason.  Maybe a ketchup or soy sauce packet or two.  Always under an counter top appliance so that you can reference that appliance when people are looking for something that may be in the drawer.  Ours is under the coffee pot.

Upon further inspection it was obvious that the batteries just needed to be reseated.  They must have fallen out during one of the hamsters many falls.

All in the universe is restored as she runs down the hallway with her hamster for their next great adventure.          

Time-out

Day 26:  Time-Out

Yes, I am counting it as one word.  This story is too cute to keep in the archives of my brain.  And yes, in the future if my darling daughter ever stumbles across my run on sentences she may get a little embarrassed. I am okay with that.

I am working on the dishes and Clover is playing with her Zha-Zu hamster (or whatever the thing is called).  If you haven't seen these, they are little animatronic hamsters with squeeeeky voices and run into your feet at random times and scare the crap out of you.

So all of the sudden Clover starts yelling at her hamster.

"Nooooooo! StOOOOOP, DOOOONNNTTTT!"

It doesn't stop and continues to go in the opposite direction that she wanted.  She picks it up to stop it and chucks her arm back for the wind up and the pitch.  I inform her that she is not allowed to throw her toys.  So then she gives me that "but Moooom" head half way to the side look.

"I'm MAAAD!"

"Why?"

"He isn't listening to meeeeeee"  Even though the hamster is bright pink she has decided that its a "He"

She then takes the hamster and walks off with it.  I am totally curious at this point and peek my head down the hallway.  She walked down to her room and put the hamster in her room and shut the door.  Then she walks back to me and proclaims...

"I put him on time-out in my room.  I'm mad he wasn't listening to me!  So he went on time out!"

Disclaimer:  She hardly ever goes on time out.

She said it so matter of factly.  She was also very confident in her decision to put him on time out.

I couldn't help but laugh.
  

Pip

Day 22:  Pip

Her eyes are droopy.  The red curls rest on her pillow.  The pig named Olivia held tightly in her arms.  All snuggled in under the Toy Story blanket.  I can tell that she is moments away from dreamland.  And then we get to that part in the book.

"...He can make the sound of a goldfish kiss"

"Pip"

Eyes wide open now.  She pops up...almost argumentative.

"Mom...That's NOT what a fish says...they don't say Pip...they say..."

Then proceeds to make the fish pop-pop-pop sound with her mouth.

Who am I to argue about what a fish kiss sounds like?  

Just Another Chapter In Our Never-Ending Story

3 years ago...

We really had no idea.  When asked, we confidently responded that we were prepared.  We really believed that we were.  The onsies were folded neatly in the dresser.  Diapers and wipes were stacked on the diaper changing table.  Powder and cream placed in the bins.  Phone numbers listed in order on the sheet for when the time came to make the calls of the joyous news.

I didn't worry about having a newborn.  I had years under my belt of taking care of kids.  It is of course what I have studied since I was 14.  Of course I was ready to have my own.  I laugh now about how much I didn't know.  

We patiently waited as the due date drew near.  All the fantasies of those TLC baby shows played in my head.  The perfect birth scenario was quickly changed by the recommendation of a C-section.  Hours later we came face to face with just how much we didn't know.

Our daughter was born with a tumor.  She was whisked off to the local Children's hospital.  While there she was taken care of by a great surgical team and lots of very caring nurses.  She was 9 lbs 1oz when she was born and 6 lbs 10 oz after surgery.      

She was born with a Sacrococcygeal teratoma.  Roughly translated a "monster tumor of the coccyx aka tailbone".  

My darling husband spent his time in two different cities at different hospitals visiting his girls and went home to an empty house at the end of the night.  I still to this day cant imagine the magnitude of how hard that was for him.  

We waited for the parade of visitors we had originally prepared ourselves for.  Even though what we were going through was hard we greeted the brave few with a smile.  I hold those who visited very dear to my heart.  

For three days I focused on getting out of the hospital and seeing my daughter.  That and the Carmel Delites that were in my gift basket that the hospital gave us.  Every year I buy a box specifically to have on her birthday.

Even though I was in mental shock there was one thing I was sure of.   I knew in my heart that my daughter was going to be fine.  After all she had been growing inside of me for months.  She had a power kick that would make any ninja action star jealous.  I knew that she was stronger than anyone gave her credit for.  Now days when she ends up sleeping next to me, I get bruises thanks to the power kicks.  Which is why the co-sleeping didn't work out.      

Thankfully, she was only in the hospital for six days.  The day that we took her home was one of the happiest days of my life.  Little did I know, our adventure was just about to begin.  As cliche as it sounds, adventure is pretty darn accurate.

Being a new parent is exciting, thrilling, scary and rough all at the same time.  We had so much to learn and in such a short time to soak it all in.  Everything that we bought sat on the shelf for a month.  Every time we had to change her we had to wash her down with soap and water until her little butt-butt had healed.  

We patiently sat in waiting rooms and waited to be called.  Preoccupied on the outside, fearful and scared on the inside.  Scared by each article we read online.  We believed that if we could knew more about SCT that maybe we wouldn't feel so helpless.  We endlessly searched for any piece of information that might help us understand what was happening.  Each Dr's visit went better than the last and we always left feeling better than when we entered.  

Between the diaper washing and the juggling our new rolls there were lots of sleepless hours spent wondering why?  It was my own personal internal struggle.  It took me a little while to figure out that sometimes there is no why.  

There just is.  

We leaned on each other, our family and a few friends.  We eventually learned how to stand on our own.  During a lot of dark moments, we held on to each other, a bit of faith and a spark of hope.  Until eventually that spark grew brighter and brighter until we could once again see the future.  

Three years later, I have learned that we truly are stronger than we ever thought possible.  We have learned how to pull together and face whatever life hands us.  

Not only have we survived, but we have thrived.              

As her birthday approaches this year I noticed that it seems a bit different.  I seem more reminiscent than apprehensive.  Time has seemed to take a little more of the sting out of the memories.  Her birthday is such a joyous occasion for us.  But it also happens to be the anniversary of her surgery and the start of this adventure.  

Things have calmed down a bit since that day three years ago. Now we find ourselves worrying about regular kids stuff.  Bumped heads, skinned knees, her fear of dogs all fit into this category.  At times it's nerve wracking but at the same time we take comfort in the fact that it's all normal.  Every three months we worry about her routine blood test but then after we get the results, everything goes back to the somewhat crazy routine.  

I have to say that I find myself just as amazed by my daughter now as I was three years ago.  Most parents gush about their children…but I am truly in awe of her.  Her strength continues to astonish me.  Her emerging personality surprises me at times and leaves me bewildered.  We are constantly impressed by her ability to go with the flow.  She is always up for another adventure.  

We never thought we would find ourselves so preoccupied by something so little.  

I never thought I would find myself so preoccupied by poop.  

We never thought we would find ourselves so wrapped around the little finger of that amazing curly red haired cutie! 

Like I said before…

We really had no idea!