Our Song

We were poking around the pharmacy and our song came on.  I mentioned it and Hubby kept walking.  So naturally I said something when we got out of the store.

Me:  You didn't even notice that our song was playing.  How sad!

Hubby:  What did you want me to do?  Grab you and dance with you in the isle?

Me:  Yes, yes I did!

So to make up for it, he grabbed me and tried to dance with me in the parking lot.

Clover:  What song was it?

Me:  A song by Savage garden.

Clover:  Sandwich Garden?

Laughter ensued until everyone was strapped into Rojo Grande.

So here is one of our songs by the newly retitled Sandwich Garden.

 

Speaking of Autumn M & Ms

We bought one of those large trail mix containers the other day.  It was good and didn't last long.  The only problem I had with it was that it had a lot of sugar in it.  We're talking M and Ms, mini chocolate chips AND butterscotch chips.  So I decided to make my own fall trail mix.  I toasted some coconut flakes and almond slices.  

 

I ended up toasting the whole bag because we eat it by the handful around here.  I used half of the bag for the trail mix and about two cups of sliced almonds.  

 

I added a cup of white chocolate M and Ms.  Along with a cup of autumn color M and Ms.

 

I also added a couple handfuls of Spanish peanuts.  

It made a lot.  I divided it up and put it in snack bags so we can snack and go.  It's a little bit healthier than the other stuff we bought.  I wanted to add some raisins but it looks like we ran out.  I still thought it was pretty tasty. 

Over Analyze

Clover has been into Bubble Guppies lately.  I'm glad it isn't Dora anymore.  I have never liked that show.  Why is that kid running around all by herself?  A lot of the times these cartoons leave me with questions.  This show confuses me to no end.  Why?  Because I'm an adult.  I over analyze things. 

Are they mermaids? 

Are they in a tank or the ocean? 

Why is there gravity? 

How do things fall out of trees when there are under water? 

What is the purpose of the fire truck?

I get it.  It's a cartoon.  I will admit that it took me three episodes to figure out the running gag at lunch time.  For three episodes I was wondering what the heck was wrong with that kids parents.  Why do they keep sending him to school with an inappropriate lunch?  Are his parents on drugs?  That's not even funny!  Why haven't the mermaid equivalent of child services checked in on this kid yet?  By the third episode that we watched it was a different kid with a funny lunch at the end of the joke.  Yeah, it was one of those smack my head moments.  I need to stop watching cartoons.   

Getting Back to the Human Connection

I think the lack of blog posts can be attributed to my hatred of my keyboard.  This one is tiny and sleek but my fingers do not seem to stay on the keys.  It's a pretty keyboard, but not very functional.  As a matter of fact I just decided that life is too short to deal with a keyboard that isn't right for me so I fished one out of the keyboard death box.  Yes, we have a cubby for keyboards.  It has three in it right now.  We keep them just in case a friend needs one while over or if one of hubby's project boxes need one we have a box full of spares.  It's a Microsoft keyboard that I am using on my Mac...I feel a bit of a traitor just saying that sentence but life is all about finding what works for you.   

So now that all of that is handled I can get back to the rambles in my head.  I noticed myself really attached to my computer and phone last week.  I don't even know why.  I kept checking my usual websites.  Even when there was nothing else to read or look at I still found myself rechecking to see if I had missed anything.  I should have gotten up and done something productive instead of sitting in my computer chair.  So once I noticed this I started spending time reflecting and really looking at myself.  What was I trying to gain from spending so much time online?

I was trying to make a connection. 

With Clover in school and Hubby at work, my mornings are mostly pretty quiet.  If my husband goes to the office my mornings are very quiet since he takes his chiptunes and dubstep with him.  So was I lonely?  I don't think so because even when they were both home I still found myself checking in on my phone.  I think it's so much easier for me to be active on social media because in real life I lean a bit more towards the introverted side of things.  I look at outgoing people and envy them.  I wish I had a tenth of my daughters ability to be an extrovert.  She puts herself out there and says hi and is super friendly to everyone she meets.  And I will admit that there are times where I want to be more like my five year old.  So after the third time of checking my phone in what seemed like a half hour, I decided that it was time for me to get back to being present in my life.  I need to stop leaning online for my social interactions and get back to making more of a human connection.

I guess I just wanted to say that I am working on it.   

I have also decided that life is too short to eat the fruit snack flavors I don't like.  Why should I bother my taste buds with grape or banana flavored anything?  Same thing goes for Skittles.  I bought a bag to see what all the hullabaloo was about with the green apple vs. lime debate.  I now have a baggie full of grape and orange Skittles on the candy shelf and have to make sure I don't confuse those with my autumn M and M's.

Things I Find On The Internet

I have to imagine that when the creators sat around high fiving themselves because they just invented the internet, they were imagining the many educational and intellectual ways people were going to be able to share information from all over the world.  My husband even gets nostalgic and happy when he shares his early bbs days.  Then it morphed into the age of information where you can literally get information on anything with a few keystrokes. 

It's amazing.  It's also eye opening.  You have access to all sorts of information and cat pictures.  Don't forget the cat pictures.  Those are a big player in the internet scheme.  Somehow while I was in random internet search mode, I came across a debate I didn't even know existed.

The Great Toilet Paper Debate.  It's real.  There is even a wiki on it?  I didn't even know this was a thing!  Here is the info-graphic on the debate.  

Around here we don't really care what way it's facing.  With two girls in the house it doesn't last long on the roll anyways.  And as long as it's on the roll (and not on the counter) my husband doesn't care which way or the other.  He is just happy it's on there.   

So now I just feel somewhat uncultured.  I also feel kind of like a bad host since I may have inadvertently offended or possibly annoyed someone with the direction my toilet paper was facing.  My apologies to any guests I may have offended.  Also I will work on being better at making sure there is a hand towel in the bathroom. 

Simple Rambles

We have finally settled into a fairly routine schedule.  Weekdays can get a little crazy and I wish the weekends were filled with lazy bliss.  But, alas there always seems like there is something to do.  Even now with Clover gone during the days I realize just how big my to-do list was.  I am now realizing how long I have put some of this stuff off.

When I'm not trying to tackle the To Do List of Dooom (tympani drums bom bom bom bom), I have been left with a lot of time to think.  I'm actually quite surprised some of it didn't end up here since this is one of the places I come too when I need to hash out what is in my brain.

Most of it is positive thinking.  A lot of it is self reflection and trying to figure out where I fit into the larger scheme of things.  For the last five years I have been very fortunate to have the opportunity to be a Stay at Home Mom (thanks Hubby).  a SAHM for short.  I never know why they include the "a" in the acronym, since most times it's left out.  I guess SHM sounds a little to close to something you would do in the bedroom?  Whoooo knows?  Anyways, back to my ramble on where I fit into the universe. 

Part of me wants to work on the book I have been putting off.  Part of me wonders if I should get a job.  Should I go back to school?  Finish my degree in Child Development?  Then I wonder if there is something wrong with me because I don't have a passionate answer.  I never really knew what I wanted to be when I was a kid.  I hadn't really picked anything for certain until I was in High School.  I would pick an career and then find out more about it and then nope out of there.  Hubby on the other hand pretty much knew what he wanted to do since he was 9.  One time when he was driving me home from a date he said he wanted to work for the largest telecommunications company in our area.  About five years after that he was.  I have always admired his determination and focus. 

Career wise, I picked one while I was attending a vocational high school.  They told us that what made this school different was that we would be able to join the workforce straight out of high school.  For most of the careers that is true.  I started working in the daycare at my high school helping take care of the kiddos of my fellow classmates.  It was fun.  I liked it.  I seemed good at it and it was fairly easy.  So from there I decided to go into Child Development.  In most states you need a set amount of college credits to get a job (legally) in a day care.  I went to school and was a nanny for a bit until I earned enough credits to get a job.  I learned a lot from every person I worked with.  From there I continued my education, racking up units and sharpening my skills as a teacher.  Up until the day I left I still enjoyed being in a classroom.  I left to start the greatest adventure I have been on.  Being a Mom.  So now I have this break in my day where I no longer have to focus on being a Mom.  So how do I transition roles during the day?  This is what I am currently working on. 

That and the "what do I want to do with my life?" question.  I've been thinking about it for a bit now.  In it's simplest form, I want to be a good person.  I want to be happy and make others around me happy.  It makes me happy to know that I made someone's life a little easier or made some smile.  As Gandalf mentioned in the movie The Hobbit:

 “Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.”
 
I'm sure I have quoted that before.  That's how much I love that line.  Because I pretty much see myself like that.  Now, I know I am a realist and I know I have one heck of a cynical and judgmental side to me.  But I also know that I am a pretty positive person.  I don't see the glass as half full or half empty.  I see it more of "It has something in, so be happy for that" kind of a stance.  I have seen others play the game and run the rat race.  It's simply not something I am interested in participating in.  I watch everyone hurry out after dropping their kids off and they are all racing somewhere.  They all have somewhere they were supposed to be five minutes ago.  Racing around a school zone, ignoring traffic signs, double parking, getting frustrated while waiting in the line to get out of the parking lot and going left even though the sign clearly says "right turn only".  And there I am in my big red truck blaring my country music.  I've been on a country kick lately.  I don't look so stereotypish when I am playing Darren Hayes or Kylie.  I think being in a truck and blaring country does something to seal the deal.  I am just missing the pig tails and cut offs.  Possibly boots too if I wasn't so in love with my flip flops.

      

The Freak Out That Never Happened

I heard a lot of things about Clover starting the big K.  People were full of suggestions to make it easier.  Encouraging words from parents that had been there before and teachers that had been on the other side were heartwarming and helpful.  All of the other comments I had heard...not so much.  Just like any other time in your life, people are going to say something about it.  Sometimes these people mean well and don't realize what they are saying could be taken every which way but the right way.  Those people I have given the benefit of the doubt.  Cuz I'm nice like that.  Then there seems to be the group of people that increase the anxiety you didn't even know you had.

The not so positive things I heard before starting:

You are going to freak out.

Have you started panicking yet?

The guys at work are worried about what you are going to do once Clover starts Kindergarten.

YOU ARE SOOOO GOING TO FREAK OUT! (yes, all caps was necessary)

So let me just say that I am not really the freaking out kind of person.  I am usually pretty cool, calm and collected (most of the time).  There are times where I get upset, complain or vent.  But there have been few times I have freaked out.  I also have this glitch in my personality where I feel the need to correct people's opinion of me.  I have to prove them wrong.  I realize that this glitch has been around for awhile.  For example: my chemistry teacher in high school told me he didn't think I would get that far in the class.  I walked out of that class with a high B/almost an A.  So hearing that all I was going to do was freak out did the opposite.  I'm not sure if I didn't freak out because I really wasn't that worried or because everyone only told me that I was going to. 

I think the anticipation of Kindergarten was the worst.  Yes, I will admit I was a bit nervous.  Especially when I realized that her Kindergarten was indeed ALL DAY.  It was way easier to plan out the day knowing she would only be in class for three hours.  Oh how times have changed.  Having people to run my worries by helped.  There were a lot of people I reached out to that calmed my nerves down and I appreciate that.   

Clover was apprehensive at first.  Mostly because she thought she was going away to school.  Like boarding school.  I think she got this idea from Harry Potter.  So when we talked about school, she thought she was getting on a train and going away.  Preschool helped with this.  She finally figured out that we do come back for her every day and she gets to come home and sleep with her "babies".

Then the big day came and went.  We went down and dropped her off and she kissed us and waved us off.  The first couple of days we didn't linger.  I know from my teaching days that sometimes it confuses them and makes it worse.  The second day she kissed me and told me "I'm going to go and play with my friends Mom, you can go now!" and ran off.  I loved that she was so independent.  She has been from the beginning.  Part of me was a little sad that she didn't need me but I was glad that she was loving her new teacher and classroom.

The only hiccup we had was on the sixth day.  She asked me how many more days she was going to to have to go to school.  I let her know she had about 10 more months.  She looked a little shocked.  I think she figured out that it was a long term thing.  That morning she begged me to stay until the bell rang and got teary eyed when it was time to line up.  My heart broke.  I really didn't want to leave her.  But the grown up voice in my head told me that I had to.  I wanted to hover when she went into her class but I resisted.  So I emailed her teacher to check in on her instead.  Of course, she was fine.

I was pretty lucky that she adjusted pretty quickly.  She is my social butterfly so she loves making friends.  She even likes that she has classwork to do.  The one thing we need to work on is helping her to learn that it's not okay to interrupt her teacher.  All in all she is doing great.

Just in case anyone is wondering, I'm doing just fine too!